Self-Esteem: Causes, Symptoms, and Treatment
Medically reviewed by Harsha Moole, MD, Internal Medicine. Last reviewed: October 23, 2026.
What kind of doctor treats Self-Esteem?
Low self-esteem is usually helped by a therapist (a mental health professional who uses talking treatment) or a counselor. A primary care doctor can also refer you for talking therapy. A direct primary care or concierge doctor can be a first stop for an evaluation and can refer you to a specialist when needed.
What is self-esteem?
Self-esteem is the opinion we have of ourselves. When we have healthy self-esteem, we tend to feel positive about ourselves and about life in general. It makes us better able to deal with life's ups and downs.
When our self-esteem is low, we tend to see ourselves and our life in a more negative and critical light. We also feel less able to take on the challenges that life throws at us.
We all have times when we lack confidence and do not feel good about ourselves. But when low self-esteem becomes a long-term problem, it can harm our mental health and our daily lives.
In children, self-esteem plays a central role in motivation, achievement in school, social relationships, and the ability to bounce back from setbacks.
Symptoms
Low self-esteem can show up in the way we act and think.
- Hiding yourself away from social situations.
- Not trying new things.
- Avoiding things you find challenging.
- Seeing yourself in a negative, critical way, such as telling yourself you are "too stupid" or that "nobody cares" about you.
- Feeling you have to say yes to other people, even when you do not want to.
Staying away from hard things may feel safe for a short time. Over the longer term, it can backfire, because it feeds your doubts and fears.
Living with low self-esteem can harm your mental health and lead to problems such as depression and anxiety. Some people also smoke or drink too much as a way of coping.
Causes and who gets it
Low self-esteem often begins in childhood. Teachers, friends, siblings, parents, and even the media send us positive and negative messages about ourselves.
Stress and hard life events, such as a serious illness or the death of someone close, can hurt self-esteem. Personality can also play a part. Some people are more prone to negative thinking, while others set impossibly high standards for themselves.
A child's self-esteem is shaped by their own thoughts about what they can do, and by how parents, teachers, and friends think of and treat them.
How doctors diagnose it
If you prefer, you can start by talking with a doctor. A family doctor can refer you for talking therapies. You can also find a private therapist. Make sure the therapist is registered with a professional body. For a child, you can talk with your pediatrician about ways to support healthy self-esteem.
Treatment
Talking therapies like counseling or cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can help.
To boost your self-esteem, you need to identify the negative beliefs you have about yourself, then challenge them. Then write down evidence that challenges them. Also list other positive things about yourself. Aim to have at least 5 positive things on your list and add to it regularly.
Other steps that may help:
- Recognize what you are good at.
- Build positive relationships with people who appreciate you.
- Be kind to yourself when you feel like being self-critical.
- Learn to be assertive, which means respecting other people's opinions and needs and expecting the same from them.
- Start saying no.
- Set yourself a goal, such as joining an exercise class or going to a social occasion.
Low confidence may come from childhood, but we can grow and develop new ways of seeing ourselves at any age. For children, parents can praise effort and not only results, and set expectations that are not too low or too high.
When to see a doctor
See a doctor if low self-esteem lasts a long time and starts to affect your mental health or daily life. Low self-esteem can lead to depression and anxiety, so get help if you notice those problems too.
If you are thinking about harming yourself, call or text 988 (the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline) right away. You can also call 911 or go to the emergency room.
How a direct primary care or concierge doctor fits in
A direct primary care doctor charges a flat monthly fee instead of billing insurance, while a concierge doctor usually charges more and often works alongside insurance. Either kind of doctor can listen to your concerns and refer you for talking therapy.
Common questions
What causes low self-esteem?
Low self-esteem often begins in childhood, through the messages we get from teachers, friends, siblings, parents, and the media. Stress, hard life events, and personality can also play a part.
Can low self-esteem lead to depression?
Yes, living with low self-esteem can harm your mental health and lead to problems such as depression and anxiety.
Can you raise your self-esteem as an adult?
Yes, we can grow and develop new ways of seeing ourselves at any age. Challenging negative beliefs, being kind to yourself, and talking therapies like counseling can help.
How can parents help a child build self-esteem?
Parents can help by giving praise for effort and by setting expectations that are not too low or too high. Parents can also explain that mistakes are a normal part of learning. A pediatrician can give more tips.
Sources
- NHS - Raising low self-esteem
- HealthyChildren.org (American Academy of Pediatrics) - Building Blocks for Healthy Self Esteem in Kids
Medical Disclaimer
This content is for general educational and informational purposes only and is not medical advice. It is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment, and reading it does not create a doctor-patient relationship. Always seek the advice of your physician or another qualified health provider with any questions about a medical condition, and never disregard or delay seeking professional advice because of something you read here. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call 911 (or your local emergency number) immediately.
